The words contained in this here journal may not make much sense and they may not bear any relation to reality but one thing is for sure, they'll contain the word pasty.
Thursday, June 05, 2003
scillygav (00:38:46): What beret?
scillygav (00:38:51): I don't know what you're talking about
equinoxe_uk (00:36:39): *body slams Gav with a pasty*
scillygav (00:39:52): owwww, Liam!
scillygav (00:39:56): You're hurting me!
equinoxe_uk (00:37:19): How camp could you be Gav?
scillygav (00:40:48): I dunno
scillygav (00:41:15): Why don't you *points at Liam* tell me luvvy *points at self*
equinoxe_uk (00:38:56): *kills Gav for being really camp to the point of possibly being Rob*
”Camp as a row of tents” as Capps would say
equinoxe_uk (01:42:27): The Ocean Zone was shite!!
scillygav (01:19:25): Ahhhh yes, from now on you will be known as Frank
scillygav (01:22:11): You don't mind do you?
equinoxe_uk (01:19:42): Ok
equinoxe_uk (01:19:45): Why?
scillygav (01:23:37): Well me and Capps decided that you reminded us of someone called Frank
equinoxe_uk (01:21:10): What?!
scillygav (01:24:38): Just think Beret
scillygav (01:24:48): Just think camp and beret
equinoxe_uk (01:22:14): Oh no...
scillygav (01:25:08): Oh yes
equinoxe_uk (01:22:27): Oh no...
scillygav (01:25:24): Ohhhhhhhh yes
scillygav (01:25:32): *does an impression of Betty*
Some mothers do ‘ave ‘em
equinoxe_uk (02:40:52): Do you think beards are sexy?
scillygav (02:44:15): Not on women no....
Sorry bearded ladies. And no I don’t think beards on men are sexy either. Sorry Liam
equinoxe_uk (02:47:22): Would you ever use pasties in an erotic way?
scillygav (02:50:25): What's to say I haven't already?
scillygav (03:18:06): Do you think beards are sexy?
equinoxe_uk (03:15:27): Not in the slightest
scillygav (03:18:27): Then why do you have one?
equinoxe_uk (03:16:25): Because it a) Makes me look older and b) Doesn't make me noticably fat
Not a good day for beards
scillygav (03:44:14): If I were to sneeze would you say Bless you, Gezuntheit, eeeuuwww or remain silent?
equinoxe_uk (03:41:56): Bless u, and I'd clap so the fairies don't die at the bottom of my gran's garden
scillygav (03:45:10): (after that last answer) Are you secretly a hippy?
equinoxe_uk (03:42:29): Not at all
I don’t believe him
equinoxe_uk (04:10:27): *brain is geared up for a good night of porno snogging and mindless fucking*
Eeeeeeek!
scillygav (23:00:18): Tell me, do women just walk up to you in the street and start stroking the beret?
equinoxe_uk (22:57:51): No...
scillygav (23:01:01): It never happened to Frank Spencer either
equinoxe_uk (22:58:29): *marks Gav for termination*
I might pluck up some more if there is demand. I just hope they haven’t bored the arse of you.
equinoxe_uk (02:41:35): Hold on a sec - i need comfort cigarette for this story
scillygav (00:35:58): Must be dull without us two jokers in there
equinoxe_uk (00:35:31): ME?!!? A JOKER!??!?
scillygav (00:39:19): With that hat (sorry beret) how could you not be?
equinoxe_uk (01:17:38): DISCLAIMER - Anything I say is not directly quoted from Mr. Liam Christopher Fretwell and is for the purpose of explanation and/or diagramatical purposes only. Equinoxe Studios (UK) accept no liability and/or damages from anything that is to be said and cannot be held responssible for acts of murder, suicide or genocide (even regicide) that could arise from the said opinions..
So it’s the end of “Eq” for the summer. No more beret. No more bumfluff. No more camp jokes, nor radio, nor chat about Sci Fi, nor chat about Wend. You’d better write hundreds of damned e-mails ya buggar. If I find time I’ll compile some of Liam’s greatest messenger moments designed solely to humiliate him. Have to watch motorbikes then toddle off into the real world now, bye all.
Tuesday, June 03, 2003
Apparently my dad just stood on Wez who was hiding in the darkness, poor cat.
I, Gavin, the laziest or lazy students actually managed to go into uni today! I managed to pick up a lovely pink form that I can't make head nor tail of and I shall be going back tomorrow to find some assistance. I had plenty of time to think, a good couple of hours in total, and so I thought about everything except those things most important to me.
I have some sort of mental block where this is concerned, my subconscious being as lazy as me I don’t think it wants to tackle the difficult issues and puts them on the back burner and replaces them with racing cars and pylons and how air pressure affects clouds. I mean at the moment I’m changing courses at uni, swapping my field of learning from computers to science and totally changing the way the rest of my life goes. Didn’t think about it. I’m making a decision as to whether to move to York with my friends or stay at home. Didn’t think about it. I’ve a few other important things I need to sort out in my head too and didn’t go anywhere near them.
Instead I spent the time trying to figure out why some pylons need to be of different construction to the others in it’s particular line of metal monstrosities I decided it was dependant on the height of the ground, a christmas tree layout assigned to those pylons on slightly higher ground. Then I started wondering if the single cable running along the top of the pylons was also carrying a substantial charge or simply helping increase the stability of the chain of pylons. At first I plumbed for the latter as I couldn’t see any insulation betwixt the cable and the metal frame but closer inspection showed this to be an inaccurate observation. If anybody knows otherwise then please do correct me, I was only guessing. Anyway that's enough thinking for now, it's time for some surfing. Radical.
Monday, June 02, 2003
Bike ride this afternoon, curry tonight.
Bike Ride Stats Total Distance = 11.96 miles
Total Riding Time = 1 hour 14 minutes and 27 seconds
Average Speed = 9.6 mph
Maximum Speed 34.3 mph
Squirrel Sightings = 2
Rabbits Attempting to Throw Themselves Under My Wheels = 1
Dream Recorder A slightly sketchy, and in parts very surreal, dream about a northern meet beginning with a trip to the cinema, not so far from the truth really so far. People in the group I remember were me, Wend, Jono, one of my brother’s old friends I haven’t see for years, some guy with a ponytail and another short guy. After meeting someone who recognised me from Scilly, though I didn’t recognise him, I remember playing a game of what would pass for musical chairs as me, the guy with the ponytail and the short fellow battled it out for the two available seats either side of Wend. I lost. I managed to cheer myself up by playing with a number of power switches nearby though, they were very odd power switches and I couldn’t really understand how they worked but that didn’t stop me from fiddling.
On leaving the cinema (I don’t remember actually watching any film) I said farewell to the fellow from Scilly, I went to shake his hand but instead I headbutted him in the chest! Didn’t I say bits were a little surreal?
The next thing I remember after that is being at a youth hostel, trying to sort out who was sleeping where. Obviously I was not having the best of days as I was relegated to sleeping outside on a bed suspended twenty foot in the air. I unpacked all my stuff up there, checked my watch (Half past ten) and decided to go and chat to everyone inside. As it was they were all asleep. Until I put the TV on that is. Most seemed pleased by the televisual entertainment but Wend was particularly grumpy (Sorry Wend, seems you got a bad showing in this dream) about being woken up and threw a wobbly at me.
I decided to try and make it up to her by taking her for a little walk up the road to an arcade game in which two people fought alongside each other, one with a sword and one with a bow, and try to kill as many orcs as possible. I let Wend choose her weapon, she chose the sword, and we began playing. It was a game I was very familiar with and I started picking the orcs off with ease, shooting them all before Wend even got a chance to waft her sword at them. This, though, just made her even more cross and she had another wobbly and stormed off :(
It’s a shame really, although not a nightmare as such it’s the first bad dream I’ve had for over a year. Hopefully tonight I’ll start dreaming about dinosaurs again, it’s much more fun.
I am at this precise moment listening to Angels by Mr Robbie Williams. I have a large affinity to this song for three reasons:
1) It’s a fine song.
2) My niece, Georgia, was actually born to it. How fairytale (and corny) is that?
3) It brings out something in people I enjoy seeing more than most anything else… hypocrisy.
If you approach a jukebox in a pub full of blokes, put that song on without anyone seeing, and stroll back to your previous seating position you’ll see this phenomena at work. The plinky plonk comes on, the opening line spills out; “I sit and wait…”, and the people around react as though someone has farted! “Oh god who did that?”, “It wasn’t me!”, “That’s disgusting!”. They all try to look suitably unimpressed by the choice, maybe they feel that as men they shouldn’t like love songs and that their masculinity is in question should they admit to enjoying it, and they’ll listen to the first verse with a disapproving look on their faces as though Germany have just scored. Then the chorus starts for the first time and few of the weaker willed men, mostly those currently infatuated with someone, will start mouthing the song to themselves, often trying to hide the fact by covering their lips with a hand.
Then into verse two, they aren’t sure of the words but you can see in their eyes that inside they can feel that warm tingle of the oncoming chorus getting closer and closer. And then it breaks, as does one solitary voice of someone totally gripped by the song. He’s made a grave error of letting the words actually slip out of his mouth and has involuntarily broken into song. One or two vicious glances head his way, the hair trigger response of one bloke given reason to mock another bloke. But then they realise that now one guy is singing that they can probably get away with it too. So they join in. Before long everyone joins in. Suddenly the fart has started smelling of curry and everyone wants a sniff. It really is a good song isn’t it guys?
And yes my brother and his wife have named their daughter after a US state. They obviously read too many celebrity magazines.
Sunday, June 01, 2003
York was, as usual, a very laid back event. Saturday consisted of a wee trip into the city centre where we bumped into a female acquaintance of Jono’s who goes by the name of Rachel. Known as “Hyper Girl” at a prior workplace she certainly lived up to her name, dancing around the street, jumping around and clapping enthusiastically at anything that wasn’t about to cause her a nasty injury. Four bottles of Reef didn’t calm the girl down very much.
Post-pub munchies necessitated a trip to somewhere with food, so we moved to a different pub. A pub with food. It was at this point that Rachel decided to enquire as to my age and I told her, 19. She then proceeded to look very shocked and stated that up until that point she had assumed my age to be somewhat around the thirty mark!!! I don’t look bloomin’ thirty do I? I know I don’t act it that’s for sure. And why if I’m thirty would I be hanging around with Jono and Capps in York? I’m sure I could find something far more productive to do with my time like ironing shirts or folding sheets.
Series 2 of Coupling is nowhere near as good as the first one, I’ve got myself a pasty shop loyalty card and I thoroughly enjoyed the fact the warm weather this weekend allowed me and Capps to sit outside by the fountain in the middle of the night without dying of hypothermia. We even had a pair of mallards for company. There was actually another pair of birds hanging about but Jono scared them off by flapping his arms. F1 good.
